Author: Andre Coleman

Introduction

Childhood is a stage that is distinct and abundantly filled with cognitive, emotional and physical changes. During this period in a human life, wonder, innocence and imagination are rampant. Many skills and lessons are learned that will assist with the course the child’s future will follow. This could be described as one of the most essential periods for the development of the individual they will eventually become. Some scholars have questioned whether each individual has a core self. Using some examples of the research of George Mead and John Hewitt- among others- it reveals that there are key aspects of the self that are developed by interactions within cultures and those inner communities.

For some children there is a period of time where an imaginary friend is an essential part of this course of self-development. It is difficult to say if the presence of an imaginary friend is something that comes from the core self or if it arises after a certain amount of socialization. I will examine the presence of imaginary friends in younger children lives, specifically those within the preschool years. My intention is to explore the function(s) these imaginary friends might accomplish in the development of the role, identity and self within the child.

DISCUSSION

One concept came from work done by George Herbert Mead, who is one of the leading theorists dealing with work of symbolic interactionism and the development of the self. His work established concepts of position, play, game, and other basic theories based on relationships between the self and societal impact. Mead’s stages of development seem to rest entirely upon

relations with others. Mead (1934) saw the self as something which ripens and results from associations with other individuals. One of his theories, the “double”, is signified by the establishment of the self as an entity. Some experiences can lead to the birth of a ‘double’ and can be represented by imaginary friends created by the child, and which allows them to control their experiences through play. He suggested that entities are formed by human activity. The goals of those activities have two important inferences; people live in a world of objects and societal conduct is oriented to goals and purposes. (Hewitt, 2003). When one recognizes his/her self as an object, involvement in societal interaction is possible. (Mead, 1934)

Another key factor in Mead’s theory is the development of the “generalized other” which-he believes- is vital in the maturity of the self. His concept of the “generalized other” is like a performance, a viewpoint that a person must creatively assume in order to take into account the formation of his/her own conduct which is created with principles, expectations and ideas influenced by the members of a particular societal group (Hewitt, 2003). The game and play stage must be passed through to reach full development. The play stage is identified as a period a child learns to take the identities of others and pretends about being the other. This developmental period, known as the play stage, allows the child to assume the role of another person and imagines him/herself to become that person, trying to assume and foresee what he/she imagines the other person might do.(Handel, 1988). During this stage, very important abilities are acquired; the development of role understanding, the capability to assume the status of others, the sharpened sense of one as an entity, and the ability to establish boundaries within that role…it is a phase a child will discover and expand insight of themselves and others. During this era, a child can learn and increase their understanding of their entire universe, including themselves.

While the play stage usually correlates to the time frame children have imaginary companions it is essential to have a complete understanding of the next stage, the game stage. The essential difference between the play and the game stage is that in the latter the child must comprehend the attitude of all the others involved in that game (Mead, 1934).

Advancement to the game stage is when children can incorporate and think about not only their

accomplishments but identify with the actions of others. This awareness comes from interactions with other people. After the game stage has passed the child has arrived, optimistically, at the point they are able to have formed a “generalized other” and can imagine themselves as another entity, whether it be a person or society.

The development of a “generalized other” and obtaining a sense of roles and boundaries is extremely important in becoming a successful individual within society. Children do not strictly follow the socialization that they are exposed to; asserting one’s autonomy is one way of establishing their independence and separation from others. It appears that imaginary friends can help to serve this role. The exact way that an imaginary friend is manifested is unknown-however, much research has been performed on this topic– but there is no argument that it is a creation belonging to and originated by the child alone.

Marjorie Taylor (1999), a psychologist who has studied children and their imaginary friends, does affirm that typically, an imaginary companion is an excellent example of a private act of fantasy controlled by the child him or herself.

The imaginary friend cannot be seen, interacted with or known without the aid of the child. It is a complete product and interaction that belongs solely to the child. There are also signs that even quite young children never completely loose touch with the fantasy status of their imaginary companions (Taylor, 1999).

A child who has an imaginary friend is a common phenomenon and does not automatically result from psychological problems or neglect. However, it should be noted that situations, such as psychological issues and/or neglect should not be overlooked when assessing a child with an imaginary friend.

Imaginary friends can serve various positive objectives in areas of the child’s development.

An imaginary friend could aid in creating feelings of importance, power, confidence, and could possibly lead to a greater acceptance of the self. Having an imaginary friend is one of the first independent acts separating the child from his/her mother or the child’s primary caretaker.

One of the endearing things about imaginary companions is that children can boss them around, direct their activities, and dictate their communication with others. There are a few case studies suggesting that if children’s sense of control over imaginary companions is diminished, the pretend friend sometimes disappears (Taylor, 1999). This interaction can assist a child to exercise his/her autonomy and develop more individual interaction skills. A second function

of imaginary friends is the ability to assist the child develop stronger social boundaries. Several scholars consider the importance of imaginary friends to be a catalyst for development. Commonly, imaginary friends offer an outlet which a child can use both reality and fantasy to learn right and wrong as well as what is acceptable in the context of different roles.

Machin wrote: fantasy allows children to contemplate moral and social issues at a

safe distance in the land of make believe (Machin & Davies, 2003). An imaginary

friend could possibly be an agent between fantasy and reality and an instrument with which the

child can explore their boundaries.

One indicator that imaginary friends might be representative of children becoming autonomous is that they usually do share the information with their parents. Research has shown that although the parent’s lack of knowledge regarding their child’s imaginary friend does not automatically come from the child’s refusal to reveal information about their friend.

An imaginary friend could possibly be a means a child uses to differentiate between fantasy and reality and an instrument with which the child can explore their boundaries. Children learn through the responses of others and that their behaviors have consequences (Handel, 1988). A child’s creation of an imaginary world also offers an alternate place where children can learn about the needs, feelings, and expectations of others. Discovering about roles and societal boundaries and expectations from imaginary friends could possibly tie into the transition between Meads’ play and game stages, bridging the gap between the play and game stage since the child not only interacts with the imaginary friend but also exhibits its reactions and thoughts.

It is complicated to identify if imaginary friends serve a positive function in a child’s development of sense of self, role acquisition, and identity based on this research. Research of

prior studies led to my theory that imaginary friends may serve with developing identity in children and assist the child learn societal boundaries. The growth of these characteristics in a child usually results in their ability to function well when interacting with others, allows a certain level of confidence in themselves, and provides a level of independence and/or willingness which will assist the child to implement their autonomy. Fundamentally, it appears that

imaginary friends offer those that have them a chance to find structure in a non traditional fashion.

According to many previous studies, approximately one third of all children between the ages of two and a half to four years of age have one or more imaginary friends and they tend to be more frequent among females.

Some in the academic community, as well as, many within the general public do regard the existence of imaginary friends as a wonderful manifestation on the part of the child and will engage in dialogue and recognition of the imaginary friends. However, at the same time as there are those that acknowledge imaginary friends, there are many that do not think that the existence of an imaginary friend presents a positive influence or role in the child’s development. It has been noted that the existence of an imaginary friend can actually cause tension within a family due to accommodations to involve this imaginary friend of their child’s in family activities.

Many parents are also cynical of the imaginary friend due to the possibility that the child may use the imaginary friend as a defense for the child to blame bad behavior upon. However, the suggestion that using the imaginary friend as an excuse is not certain.

The most widespread characterization of an imaginary friend is an invisible character, named and referred to in conversation with other persons or played with directly for a period of time, having an air of reality for the child but no apparent objective basis (Taylor, 199) A greater part of imaginary friends take human form, have names, and are believed to really “see, think, feel, know or act.” Imaginary friends have been depicted as having a high level of importance to the children that still have them and/or to the adults that had them during childhood and these imaginary friends continue to typically complete some sort of nurturing function. Since many of

these companions take on traits that are part of a child’s daily interaction, one could suggest that these friends are influenced by the social world of the child and also serve to help the child develop more ways of learning how to interact. In addition, connecting with a friend, whether imaginary or not; a child is establishing their concept as an entity. This is important for social interaction and learning about human conduct, expectations and societal boundaries.

Imaginary friends serve several levels of companionship functions that divert the child when out with a parent and/or caregiver, desiring play and social interactions, or situations when carrying out day-to-day routines. Some visits from the imaginary friend are very rare, while other times the appearance of the imaginary friend is a daily occurrence. Some children actually engage and play games with their friends while other children will just talk to the friend. One child (me) had their imaginary friend present during a move which correlates to the idea that an imaginary friend can be used as a means to adjust and learn about new situations. It appears these imaginary friends help those who had them- in some way- and performed some beneficial purpose.

Though the capacity to evaluate this question would be incredibly difficult, it would be valuable to study where imaginary friends come from and how and why they are created. More research needs to be done with children who currently have an imaginary friend and in a way that information could then be compared and contrasted between those children with imaginary friends and those children without imaginary friends. On the other hand, while it may be ideal to explore this issue further, there are drawbacks to studying children. When interviews are being performed with children, it is uncertain that what they are answering is actually what we are asking them.

Additionally, when dealing with imaginary friends and pretend play there is the added component of the child’s ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Unfortunately, there is no way to approach this issue which would be infallible.

CONCLUSION

Mead was accurate when he alluded to the fact that imaginary friends play a significant role in the development of the self. There are no blatantly bad indicators that imaginary friends are harmful. Nevertheless, there still exist many negative perceptions, both in research as well as within the general public. These perceptions link imaginary friends to problems later in life, ranging from unacceptable social behavior to forms of mental illness, including psychosis. It must be noted, there are cases where this link can be found, however, these cases include indicators of other problems, mental, emotional or physical.

This culture is has become overly dependant on exposure to the media. Imaginary friends are quite often used for entertainment purposes and are frequently misrepresented. Taylor contends that imaginary friends are framed in a negative light; however, not every aspect of media portrayal is negative. Overall the media-meaning movies, books, etc. – tends to over-exaggerate circumstances and highlight the negative aspects. Earlier work has shown the opposite and my findings from this research indicate that imaginary friends, more likely than not, could boost childhood development, confidence levels and establish stronger boundaries. Furthermore, while performing and compiling my research on this controversial topic, I have found that more information exists to support that the existence of an imaginary friend can assist a child deal with

a myriad of issues and situations that may not be successfully dealt with and/or overcome without the assistance of an imaginary friend.

This essay will be discussing about one of the three types of Brunei’s citizenship. Brunei citizenship is divided into three categories. It is categorise by color which are yellow, purple and green and these color will be the color of the identity card hold by each of Brunei citizenships according to which citizenship they are categorised. In Brunei Darussalam, different identity card holder will get different specialty offered by the Brunei’s government because in Brunei Darussalam, Brunei government is responsible for its citizen welfare. Specialty means welfare in terms of education, health care and job offer. The welfare given is different from one identity card holder to another.

IDENTITY AS CITIZENSHIP AND THE HUMAN RIGHTS

The focus of this essay will be on the purple card holder and my focal point is on students. The issue will be discuss after I elaborate the details of the purple citizenship status and their human rights in their stay in Brunei Darussalam. The purple card holder is for a citizen who came into Brunei Darussalam and married to a Brunei woman. This citizenship will also descent to their children if the father are not a local Bruneian. The child whose father holding the purple citizenship is categorise the same as their father’s citizenship even though they are born in Brunei. Purple card citizenship can also be given to people who plan to live permanently in Brunei Darussalam. The specialty given to the purple citizenship is different from what is given to the yellow card citizenship. Yellow citizenship is the pure citizenship which is called as local people. There is another citizenship status in Brunei which is a green card holder which will not be include in this discussion but the best description is this type of citizenship is for temporary foreign worker who work in Brunei with two years renewable visa.

The local people are the community who are given the specialty from the government in terms of education, health care and job offer. Local students are given scholarship for education. They do not have to pay anything for their primary school and secondary school even texts books are provided without any expense demands. Unlike the purple card citizenship, although they are born in Brunei they have to pay the school fees. The school fee is paid monthly and the cost will be increasing as they went to a higher level of education. Regarding health care, people with purple citizenship have to pay the amount of BND$30 for every prescription unlike the local citizenship which is the yellow card holder they only paying an amount of BND$1 for their prescription. They also have to pay for their stay if they were admitted in the hospital while local people pay nothing.

Other than that, the purple card holder also cannot work as a government staff only until they get their yellow citizenship. The issue that questions this situation is why as a permanent citizenship (purple card holder) do not get the government specialty even though they have been staying in Brunei permanently and even some of them are born in Brunei. In Brunei if a local resident (yellow card holder) students applying for university they have to have an outstanding result in order to get a scholarship. If they are qualified with their result they will continue their study to the university and they will be given monthly allowance by the government. Unlike the purple citizenship, even though they get an outstanding result but they cannot enter the university by scholarship. They have to pay the school fee which is at the amount of BND$4000 per semester and this will cost them an overall of BND$24,000 for the whole degree course which took four years to be completed.

As of the different welfare, occur some cases in Brunei where some parents did not afford to pay their children’s school fee and despondently their children are categorise as a very outstanding student in school. Sometime the students have to quit even at their early primary or secondary school because they could not continue their study due to financial matter. What makes it as a fair decision to differentiate a student with foreign father to pay for their education but they have been in Brunei since they born and are not going to another place to stay and grow other than in Brunei. If the government let them get the same benefit as the local resident will that harm the government in any way? This is the question which really needs a clear explanation especially for those who faced this situation.

The children are considered as Brunei asset but why they have to be treated like foreigner. If the government cannot make any change to this children welfare who else can support their future. If the government cannot overcome this situation what will happen in the future if the number of unemployment is increasing. This would trouble the country and even adverse the future of Brunei because of the regardless of some outstanding asset.

Below are the law and regulations of Brunei Government for applying the yellow card citizenship as stated in Brunei National Registry Members Section. Available: http://www.imigresen.gov.bn.html. Last accessed 19th Jannuary 2011. The yellow card citizenship are recognise as the people of His Royal Highness Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam. Only this people are eligible to get the welfare specialty given by the government. So in order to get the entire welfare from the government the resident with purple card holder can apply to change their purple card to yellow by the following regulations.

ABSOLUTE EFFECTIVE BY THE LAW (CHAPTER 4 OF THE NATIONAL STANDARD OF BRUNEI)

Application Requirements Status as a people of His Royal Highness Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam:

1 – Section is recognized as the People’s Representatives of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam.

2 – Assign legally in the country while the application is made.

REGISTRATION BY [Chapter 5 (1), 6 (1) and 8 (1) OF THE NATIONAL STANDARD OF BRUNEI]
CHAPTER 5 (1) THE APPLICANT IS BORN IN STATE

Requirements for Applying for Status as the People of His Royal Highness Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam:

The applicant has reached 18 years when the application is made

The applicant is recognized as permanent residents to have Entry Permit / Residence Permit for 12 years from the date of issue

Resided continuously in the country for 2 years prior to application

Qualifications to people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam:

Good behavior (to be reviewed by the parties concerned)

Malay Language Examination

Citizenship Status should divest Origin

Obedience Oath lift Seta (after obtaining consent of His Gracious Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam.

CHAPTER 6 (1) APPLICATION STATUS BY FATHER / MOTHER / PARENTS lift CITIZENS OF BRUNEI

Application Requirements Status as a people of His Royal Highness Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam

The applicant is under 18 years old when the application is made

Father / Mother / Parent Adoption is recognized as a people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam

Legally residing in Brunei Darussalam during the application is made.

Eligibility To be people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam

Good behavior (to be reviewed by the parties concerned)

Shall deprive Kewarganegraan Original Status

CHAPTER 8 (1) THE APPLICANT IS BORN ABROAD

Application Requirements Status as a people of His Royal Highness Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam

The applicant is under 18 years old when the application is made

The application is recognized as permanent residents with Entry Permit / Residence Permit for 20 years from the date of issue

Resided continuously in the country for 2 years prior to application.

Eligibility To be people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam

Good behavior (to be reviewed by the parties concerned)

Passed the Malay Language

Shall deprive Kewarganegraan Original Status

Faithful Obedience Oath lift (after getting Perkenaan His Gracious Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam)

As the regulation stated in the law of Department Of Immigration and National Registration Ministry of Domestic Affair Brunei it shows that it is applicable to be the people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam as long as they are qualified according to the law and regulation of National regulation. Somehow what can be seen from the regulation is it took a very long time for a purple card citizen to become and even apply the yellow citizenship. It is at some points wasting their time waiting and also wasting their money to spend on expense demand as a purple citizenship while at the end they will still to be recognized as a yellow citizenship.

Therefore in this case time is really matter because through time it shows how much we spend for the expense demand and we could thing how worth it is to spend that amount of money just to go through that time estimation stated in the regulation. What if within the time the students are not be able to continue their study just because they cannot afford to pay the fees and after a long time when they get the yellow citizenship but at that time it is already impossible for them to continue their study because of their age factor. In Brunei there is school regulation where only certain age can enter certain level of education as stated in Education System. Available: http://www.moe.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011. If they could not continue their study just because of this matter then who are to be blame and who are to be responsible for their future. According to regulation on chapter 5(1) for applicants who born in Brunei. They can only apply the yellow citizenship if they reach their age of 18 years old. But if we think about this prudently why do the parents have to pay for their education until they reach their age of 18 years old and then after that they are conform to be a local citizenship. This is a waste of money.

Of course in terms of future it is sometimes under the responsibilities of their parents. But what if the father earns low income just because he cannot work with the government. The government cannot offer any job and he has to work at private sector with low salary because he is still waiting for the yellow citizenship and he could not get the job offer by the government since he is still holding the purple citizenship. This will affect the future of their child especially when they have number of children to depend on them. As stated in Job Vacancy. Available: http://www.pelitabrunei.gov.bn. Last accessed 19th Jannuary 2011 which is showing the conditions for applying government job as below:

General Conditions:

The applicants of the people of His Majesty Paduka Seri Baginda Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam.

The applicant knowledge of kerasmian religion, customs, culture, social development, economics and politics of Brunei Darussalam.

Willing to work anytime outside normal working hours on working on a rotation basis (shift) or during public holidays and also be willing to serve in any district in the country.

In order for a child to rely on their father’s citizenship as stated in the regulation chapter 6(1) the father has to have a permit of 20 years as a purple citizenship (permanent citizenship) and the child must not yet reach the age of 18. Let’s say the father has not reach the estimation time staying in Brunei for 20 years and the child are already eligible to apply the yellow citizenship, this would delayed the child from making the application for the yellow citizenship until they reach their age of 18 years old. There are also cases happen to purple citizen students where they have to postpone from entering the university because they have to wait until they reach their age of 18 years old to make them eligible to get the scholarship to enter the university as the regulation stated in admission. Available: http://www.ubd.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011.

They also do not have any option for example to work with the government even though the finished their study in the government school by fee because they have to have the yellow citizenship. In cases like this also happen that the child cannot make the application to get the yellow citizenship at all because if they already reach their age of 18 and was born abroad and their father have not reach the 20 years being a permanent resident they are no longer eligible to make an application. This is because as stated in chapter 8(1) if applicants are born abroad they are only eligible to make application before they reach the age of 18 years old. They also having problem to apply for scholarship to study abroad.

In Brunei, students with outstanding A level result will be eligible to get study abroad scholarship but the condition is they must be holding the yellow citizenship as stated in Scholarship. Available: http://www.moe.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011. For students who are holding purple citizenship, they cannot apply for this scholarship even they have got a very excellent result. Therefore some of them who did not afford to pay for a very expensive school fee cannot continue their study to a higher level of education especially university. Sometime they have to waste their time waiting for their citizenship application to be approved by the Department Of Immigration and National Registration Ministry of Domestic Affair Brunei.

For applicants stated in chapter 8(1) the law and regulation of Department Of Immigration and National Registration Ministry of Domestic Affair Brunei for applicants who was born abroad in order to be have the yellow citizenship of Brunei they have to pass their Malay Language Test. If they do not pass the test they have to try until they can get through and qualified to be the yellow citizenship. In this cases happen that they have to try for so many years to be qualified but what is worth trying in years in order to get the scholarship if the scholarship has limit the requirement only to students who is below 25 years old. In Brunei if someone is to apply for education scholarship they must be not more than 25 years old. If someone with purple citizenship are recognised as the yellow citizenship after their age of 25 years old than what is worth fighting for doing the test in years while according to their academic qualification they are actually qualified to continue their study.

For those who can afford to pay for their education to university level and manage to complete their degree with outstanding qualification that does not mean that they can work with the government. This is because the regulation to work with the government is they must have a yellow citizenship. If they do not qualified in terms of citizenship their academic result will not be considered by the government even though they are qualified in terms of academic qualification. In the end they have to spend years working with private sector and earn lower income which is not suitable for their academic qualification and what have they been going through will continuously happen to their children as well. Some of them also have to move to other country to seek for appropriate and suitable job for their qualification.

CONCLUSION

There are so many things to be considered and analysed in this issue. The regulation delayed the application in terms of the demand of the time requirements to be the yellow citizenship. Most applicants have to wait for a very long time until they are applicable to be the yellow citizenship. Along their journey to get the yellow citizenship they have lost so many valuable things such as their time, their effort and even their future. If this happen continuously to the resident of Brunei specially the purple citizen it will leads to a big lost to the country in terms of losing the intelligent assets and also will leads to massive number of unemployment in the future. It is not erroneous to put a law for people to apply the yellow citizenship of Brunei. But the time required for the purple citizenship to apply the yellow citizenship should be decreased for the country and resident own good and for a better future.

(2,860 words)

Bibligraphy:

admission. Available: http://www.ubd.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011

Education System. Available: http://www.moe.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011.

Job Vacancy. Available: http://www.pelitabrunei.gov.bn. Last accessed 19th Jannuary 2011

Members Section. Available: http://www.imigresen.gov.bn.html. Last accessed 19th Jannuary 2011

Scholarship. Available: http://www.moe.edu.bn. Last accessed 15th Jannuary 2011.

The rate of divorce in the United States is approximately forty to fifty percent involving families with children. A majority of children experience the consequences of divorce as painful. Children will go through similar responses to divorce such as fright, guilt, depression, and rage. Throughout and instantly following the divorce a child maybe coping with changes such as losing a parent, the marital disagreement and family ineffectiveness that lead to the separation, the adjustment in parent-child relations that could be affiliated with short-term distress and emotional neediness of family members, and other threats to the comfort of the child that are evoked by the uncertainty of the circumstances.

Divorce can happen at any age for the child but at certain age’s children’s development are more affected. Children depend on their parents when they are younger so only having one parent around can affect them. There is the infancy stage, pre-school years, school age, and adolescence stage. During the infancy stage the mother may be so overwhelmed from the circumstances that it may lead to depression and she will not be able to perform her motherly duties to the infant properly. Disturbances in feeding, sleeping, and elimination patterns could occur if the infant is not being taken care of correctly. If the mother does not have depression, she would be spending more time away from her child because she would have to work more which means that a daycare or babysitter would have to take care of the infant. In the preschool years from ages three to five the child is more alert that a parent is missing. The child’s personality and coping mechanisms now play a role as well and they try to understand the reason for the separation. Some changes that may occur are starting to have tantrums, wetting or defecating in the pants, different eating and sleeping habits. During this period the child develops affection towards the parent of the opposite sex. This could be a problem if you have a daughter and her father is not in her life. When the children are in the school age from age’s six to twelve the children’s influence of their parents lessens and the influence of the peers and teachers become significantly more important. Teachers and peers play a big role in a child’s development. When you interact with peers this means that you talk about yourself and your family. This could hurt a child whose parents are separated. During the adolescence stage, this means being independent from your parents. A majority of adolescence behaviors become unpredictable. They can act younger than they are like a child or act much older and mature like an adult. The effect of divorce on an adolescent can overstrain them as they try to break away from their loved ones, or it matures them faster into adulthood. Adolescents have the option to detach and seek help such as, at school, a peer or peer group, a relative, and in the neighborhood. Children may have rigorous or continuous disruptions in development, but some children go through the same situation and after everything is resolved they are well-functioned individuals.

Dealing with parental lost associated with divorce is extremely difficult for a child. They feel rejected, isolated, and powerless, they are hoping for reconciliation and hoping that the other parent will move back home. All of these make the child vulnerable for depression. This occurs most commonly in the twelve to fifteen year old age group.

When the family unit that provides organization and support breaks down this causes disorganization in the child’s life. Anxiety occurs within the child where by they may feel responsible for the divorce, torn between mom and dad. All of these feelings make the child anxious about rejection, abandonment, and not being loved. They did not want to anger their parents and were worried about their parents’ and own welfare. Parental divorce places children at risk for adjustment difficulties, so parents and teachers should be aware of these signs that appropriate intervention be given.

There are going to be different responses to the divorce depending on the gender of the child. The impact of divorce on boys is more vulnerable than the effects of divorce on girls. Boys will have behavior disorders and problems in interpersonal relations in school with peers and teachers and at home. Girls will have disturbances in emotional and social development which may disappear but reappear during adolescence because of problems with heterosexual relations. The loss of a father is more stressful for boys than for girls because a boy often craves a fatherly figure in his life and needs to learn appropriate sex-typed behavior, an occurrence that is not as vital for girls of the equivalent age.

There are several changes that children go through after the divorce is completed. The financial issue plays a big part when a mother or father attempts to raise a child. It is very difficult and stressful for parents. There are some women that depend on their husbands and when they get divorced, they have a difficult time financially and struggle. They will end up moving to affordable housing and is associated with a poorer community. When you move children to a different neighborhood they lose friends, neighbors, and enter a different educational system. Also, there may be delinquent children in the new neighborhood that a parent would not want their child associating with. The school system may be poor and the recreational activities will be lacking.

Clearly, a parent-child relationship is important but, that changes when a divorce occurs. There is still conflict between the parents and the child ends up in the middle of it. The parents are bad mouthing each other and trying to persuade the child to be against the other parent. For the most part a child wants to maintain a relationship with both of his/her parents. It is impossible to be able to decide which parent that you would want to reject and a child would not be able to make that decision. When a parent is talking negative about another parent, the child will be unsure how to view that parent.

When a father is absent from a child’s life it impacts them. This role could be taking over by a stepfather, a sibling, a friend, a neighbor etc. The fatherly role that is being taken over by someone else may be different from the actual father. There are several roles that a father plays in a family that is not divorced, which are supporting his wife economically, assisting with household duties, taking care of the child, emotionally being there for her, and shaping the child’s behavior. The child is not receiving these fatherly roles when he is absent and it could affect the child. Fathers are more likely to keep in contact with their son than their daughter. Fathers that are involved with their children have more of an impact on their child’s development, than do fathers who are not involved in their child’s life.

Helping your child through the divorce is essential. Parents should explain to them what is going on so they understand. How the parents explain divorce to the children and brings the problem to the open, lets the children know there is conflict between the parents. The parents should be working together for the well being of the children. It is important to discuss the child’s future; they must be honest with the children and tell them that you are unsure who they will be living with. Also, it is extremely important for you to allow the children to express their concerns and feelings and always keep it at their level.

Considering the large rate of divorce in this country, the effects of divorce vary depending on the development of the child during the first year prior to the divorce. The use of mental health professionals as the advisors of the court review where the child should be placed in the best custody. There are also utilized for visitation issues, disciplining of the child, and severe disturbances of the child. Regardless of these issues, the main concern and interest is the welfare of the child to sustain a healthy and stable emotional life.

As difficult as a divorce is on a child, the child needs continuity and should know what to expect. They need to know who they will be living with and should be disciplined by both parents the same way, no matter whose house they are at. Allow the child to voice his or her concern and express his or her feelings as well. Most importantly, there needs to be a relationship with both parents and extended families that their child’s emotional stability will remain intact.

This paper explores how play helps in the mental, social, emotional and cognitive development in children. By explaining the theories of play, it also explores how play has changed over the years due to technological changes and the cognitive, mental, social emotional and social changes which take place when children play. Other aspects of play which are explored includes its contribution as an outlet for children to deal with experiences in the environment.

Play is so important to a child’s development that it is promoted by the United Nations 1989 Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 31.1, which recognizes ”the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts” (WHO, 1989). Recognizing that children need time to engage in self-driven play is of essence among parents, caregivers and educators. Play promotes the cognitive, social, emotional and physical development of the child hence it should not be underestimated. Children also develop and strengthen skills such as language development, problem solving, negotiating, and sequencing skills which will be used in further learning (Singer et al., 2006).

The role of play in children development has been illustrated in various models and theories. For instance, Jean Piaget’s models of child development and learning are based on the perception that when a child grows, it develops cognition structures and mental images (schemes) or linked concepts to understand and respond to physical conditions in the environment. This are necessitated through play activities thus according to Piaget, a child’s structure in cognition develops from innate reflexes to complex mental activities (Singer et al., 2006).

According to Almon J. (2004) Piaget identifies four developmental stages which include Sensory motor where the child at birth to two years builds concepts about how reality works with the surrounding environment. At this stage, a child doesn’t have object permanence (knowledge that physical objects exist when not sighted). In the pre-occupational stage, the child doesn’t conceptualize abstractly and needs physical circumstances which are concrete (age of seven to 11 years). At two to seven years, the child is in the concrete operational stage where he begins to conceptualize and explain physical experiences by logical structures and can also engage in abstract problem solving. In the formal operations stage, cognition structures are adult like and encompass conceptual reasoning.

On the basis of the above stages therefore, Piaget develops the cognitive theory of play which outlines the cognitive principles of how cognition can be built in children (smith D., 1995). According to this theory, Repetition of experiences through play necessitates assimilation in the child’s structures of cognition thus the child sustains a mental equilibrium. New or different experiences cause loss of equilibrium and change the child’s cognitive structure to accommodate new conditions hence more and more structures of cognition are erected. Formalized learning as well as language development is enhanced in playing children. Coolhan K. et al. (2000) suggests that opportunities for learning oral communication is presented to the child and this early development of language will later be useful in reading and writing. In addition, children develop problem-solving skills as they play. Some of the playing activities they engage in require critical thinking skills like building with blocks, playing with water and sand, doing puzzles, or constructing and designing their imaginative play area (Huertwitz S., 2002). Free child driven play will make a child curious about his or her world and this facilitates further learning. Therefore according to Ginsburg K. (2001), when allowed to pursue areas of their own interest, children are likely to develop a positive attitude towards learning. According to Jean Piaget, Play creates an atmosphere which is relaxed where learning can take place easily.

In addition, Piaget suggests that play is not similar to learning and for development in cognition to occur, there has to be assimilation and adaptation. He further refers to play as assimilation in the absence of accommodation. Jean Piaget outlines four types of play namely physical or sensory motor play where a child engages in repetition of physical activity such as swinging of the feet or back throwing of the head for sheer enjoyment of doing so. In symbolic play, the child has a mental representation of non present realities. In this type of play Piaget suggests that
“It is primarily affective conflicts that appear in symbolic play. If there is a scene at lunch, for example, one can be sure that an hour or two afterward it will be recreated with dolls and will be brought to a happier solution. If the child has been frightened by a dog, in a symbolic game things will be arranged so that dogs will no longer be mean or children will become brave” ( Piaget, 1912).
Examples of types of play which encompass Piaget’s types include; Games of pivots (Construction) which Involve learning accidentally from symbolic play. On this type of play, Piaget suggested that they are “initially imbued with play symbolism but tend later to constitute genuine adaptations or solutions to problems and intelligent creations” Piaget, 1962. Other games include Games having arbitrary rules, games involving two or more players, board games with rules, sports and card games (almond J., 2004)

Hurtwitz S. (2002) suggests that creative play forms part of creative activity in children which enables them to express themselves openly and without judgment and its shown when familiar materials are used in an unusual way especially when children engage in imaginative play and role-playing. Creativity nurtures a child’s emotional health and the experiences underwent during their first years of life can significantly develop their creativity. It fosters mental development by providing opportunities for trying out new ideas, ways of problem-solving and thinking (Singer et al., 1996). Children need to be provided with creative materials and experiences like drawing/painting, photography, music, field trips, working with wire, clay, paper, wood, water or shadows. Time is needed to explore these materials on their own in order to purse their ideas. This involves time to think about how to plan, design, construct, experiment and revise project ideas. Varieties experiences like field trips, celebrating holidays and activities with other ethnic groups and encouraging children to bring visitors to school leads to creativity. Children should have more personal experiences with people and situations outside of their own environment, in order to incorporate them in their play (Smith D., 1995).

According to Piaget, play in children enhances cognitive development which is achieved when there is a continued equilibrium between assimilation (imposing a schema which exists on the world) and accommodation (where the schemas are modified to fit the world).For example through pretence play, a child imposes mental schema on the world thus assimilation and they also observe or imitate past events or activity thus accommodation; play also facilitates creation of tension between accommodation and assimilation which contributes to development in the child (Coolhan K. et al., 2000). Piaget additionally suggests that when children play with objects (pivots) they develop symbolic abstract thoughts and they construct their knowledge through social group interaction which is internalized into thought. Fantasy play or solitary play in infancy become cooperative and negotiated thus contributing to the social, cognitive and emotional status (personality) of the child (Singer et. Al., 2006).

Play develops social skills in children especially when playing house and taking up the roles of different family members. Vygotsky cites a situation of two sisters playing at being sisters. They acquire good behaviours and relations between them that are never noticed in daily life situations. Therefore play allows interaction between children as they communicate with each other, socialize in play and listen to ideas of others (Vygotsky, 1978). Cooperation is also enhanced in these children as they discover the importance of working together and sharing the play tools available. Incase of conflicts, they are able to negotiate for better continued playing. Moreover, a socially healthy child adjusts well in school are more likely to perform well academically (Smith D., 1995).

Motor skill development is enhanced by active play activities in children. They gravitate to physical activity when left on their own. In play, they perform many activities like running and jumping which leads to physical fitness. Children who don’t play are more prone to obesity and many other complications. Apart from large muscle skills, active play also enhances the development of small motor skills when children build, paint or play with clay. Acquisition and refinement of skills necessary for successful learning in school is via active play (Ginshburg K., 2001).

Freud developed the psychoanalytic theory and related it to play in children. According to him, play gives children a good platform to speak out unfulfilled wishes and helps in revealing hidden, unconscious wishes and conflicts. Through play, children resolve tensions and build their cognitive, emotional and moral aspects of life thus contributing to their personality.

Children initiate play activities and through this, they are able to communicate symbolically through verbal and non verbal means, e.g. through such play activities like narration and story telling or those which involve assigning roles (Singer et al., 2006)

According Freud, Play in children helps to relieve various forms of anxiety which include objective anxiety, the fear of the external world; instinctual anxiety; the fear of ones own instincts and the anxiety of conscience (super ego). Freud further suggests that children during infancy cannot oppose actively and defend themselves from the outside world either physically or by modification according to their will. Their ego thus in all kinds of ways “endeavors to defend itself against it by means of physical force or to modify it in accordance to their own will” (Freud, 1936)
The ego in children according to Freud thus defends itself by denial of reality by fantasy, transformation of reality to suit own purpose and fulfill own wishes and it is at this point that the child accepts reality. He suggests that children express denial in form of play using word or art. He suggested that;
“A small handbag or tiny umbrella is intended to help a little girl to pretend to be a grown-up lady. Toy weapons of various sorts enable a little boy to ape manhood. Even dolls create the fiction of motherhood, while trains, cars, or blocks produce in the minds of children the agreeable fantasy that they can control the world”. (Freud, 1936)

Erik Erikson derived the theory of child development in which he suggested that development and socialization processes occur in specific predetermined stages and he focused on the social aspect of development. He divided life in eight stages each with a unique time frame and characteristics. According to Erickson, each stage of development has a negative outcome and he termed this as an ‘identity crisis’. In Erickson’s stages therefore, I will focus on the first four stages which are crucial to play and the child’s social development (singer et. al., 2006)

According to Erikson, “satisfactory learning and resolution of each crisis is necessary if the child is to manage the next and subsequent ones satisfactorily, just as the foundation of a house is essential to the first floor, which in turn must be structurally sound to support the second storey” (singer et al., 2006). Erickson also suggests that learning Trust Versus Mistrust occurs in the first one or two years and at this stage he asserts that if the child is given well nurturing and love, play is facilitated hence trust and security is developed. On the other hand, if handled badly, insecurity and mistrust is inculcated in the child and this limits play activity which will later manifest in the child as treatment of others with suspicion and mistrust (Smith D., 2000).

The second stage, Autonomy versus Shame, according to Erickson takes place in early childhood, between 18 months to four years. The child if well parented comes out this stage sure about himself, has elation with his control and is proud and not ashamed. If poor parenting is given, play activity is curbed and thus a psychosocial crisis which encompasses a stormy child with tantrums negativism and stubbornness ensues (Hurtwitz s., 2002). This crisis is negative to play activity in the child affecting the social development of the child.

According to Erickson, The third stage, Initiative versus Guilt, results in occurrence of crisis during the play age in later preschool years. At this stage, the healthy developing child learns to imagine play activity and to broaden skills via active play of various kinds which may include fantasy. The child also learns to cooperate with others and to lead as well as to follow. However if guilt is inculcated in the child, he becomes fearful, does not participate in play, depends unnecessarily on adults and play skills are restricted in development and imagination (singer et al., 2006).
The fourth stage as per Erickson is Industry versus Inferiority which occurs between school age and junior high school and at this stage, the child masters skills of life with regard to relating with other peers in accordance with rules, continuing from free play to play which may be structured by rules and participates in formal teamwork e.g. baseball while engaging in social studies and arithmetic (Alman J., 2004). Homework is necessary and self-discipline increases yearly. Therefore a child who has passed the previous stages successfully through play activity and good nurturing will be industrious.

Basing on the above stages, Erikson perceived the world of play as important to early stages of development of a child as it offers a safe place for the child to work through his conflicts for example children can be seen pushing dolls in preschool in the same way that they were pushed. They also engage in role playing family members or other people and this often common. According to Erickson, play creates a safe world in which consequences are neither strong nor the limits rigid. For example, some of the favorite things children in preschool do include role playing, parents, teachers, monsters and wild animals (Smith D., 1995).

According to Erickson therefore, play gives the child an opportunity to organize ideas, fantasies and feelings in a plan of play. Therefore play facilitates emotional development and allows exploration of ideas and relationships with less doubt, guilt and sham.

Classical Theories of Play

According to the Surplus Energy Theory, a child is motivated to play if he or she has a need to release surplus energy and play occurs due to surplus energy which exists when children are set free from their parents self preservation activities. Through the aimless numerous play activities, surplus energy is released. However this theory does not explain why people and children with little energy engage in play activities (Ginsburg K., 2001).

The relaxation theory was devised by Lazarus in 1883 and Patrick in 1916 and it plays a role in children and is a mode of releasing inhibitions which have accumulated from fatigue as a result of relatively new tasks to children. Therefore in children, Play replenishes used energy as a result of unfamiliar activities of cognition that child engages in. According to the relaxation theory, children and other people play because they need to relax and be away from normal life’s stresses (Singer et al., 2006). The preparation Theory (Instinct/Practice) on the other hand suggests that play prepares children for adult life through teaching: e.g. through such activities as team work and role playing activities (James et al).

The recapitulation theory perceives hat activities which re-enact events from history are intrinsically rewarding e.g. hunting, throwing games, hide and seek and chasing. However, many of these activities do not reflect history (Hurtzwitz, S., 2002).

According to the Cathartic Theory, children play because of the need of expression of disorganized and painful emotions in a manner which is harmless. For example, children may re-enact their punishments e.g. by scolding a doll. Children can release and complete previously restrained feelings by playing e.g., bursting balloons, pounding clay, or punching an inflated bunching bag) (Schaefer, 1999). This kind of emotional release is important in psychotherapy (Ginsberg, 1993).

The Compensation Theory perceives play in children occurs to satisfy the psychic needs through their work e.g. boring and repetitive activity. However, this theory does not fully account for the motivation to play. Children who may want to hit their friends because of anger can redirect this action into play using ”war-like” board games (chess, checkers), card games (war), or competitive sports activities (Almon J., 2004).

Some of the modern and post modern theories of play which have been formulated include:

Competence/Effectance Theory which perceives Humans as being out to seek and optimize their arousal levels. This is due to the need to generate interactions with the environment i.e. from child to adult. According to this theory, arousal optimization and need for interaction with the environment leads to an effect which gives children a feeling of competence and is rewarding to them. Though this theory accounts for general motivation, it cannot separate play from work (Smith D., 1995).

According to the Pre-Exercise Theory developed by Groos (1898), play in children is a necessary practice for essential behavior in later survival. Thus the playful tactics for example fighting animal games or the rough play of children are the portrayal of skills which will assist in their survival and coping later in life (singer et al., 2006).

Other theories include the recapitulation theory by G ‘ Stanley Hall (1906) and Wundt (1913) which perceives play not as an activity which necessitates future instinctual skills but serve to relieve children of unnecessary hereditary instinctual skills carried. According to this theory, “Each child passes through a series of play stages corresponding to and recapitulating the cultural stages in the development of the race”.

Appleton in 1919 devised the growth theory which define play as a response to generalized growth drive in children and facilitate the mastery of skills which aid them in adult function. On the other hand, the Ego Expanding theories were developed by Lange in 1902 and Claparde in 1911 and they perceived play as the way of nature to complete the ego and thereby forming the personality of the individual in terms of cognition, social and other skills ( Ginsberg K., 2001).

According to infantile dynamics by Lewin, play takes place as a result of the child’s cognitive life space which is unstructured thereby causing failure to differentiate real and unreal. Therefore, in Lewin’s theory, the child changes into a behavior of playful unreality in which things can be changed and are arbitrary (singer et al., 2006).

Buytendijk devised another current theory of play in which he suggested that “the child plays because he is a child and because his cognitive dynamics do not allow for any other way of behaving” (Smith D, 1995) therefore it expresses uncoordinated approach to the environment that the child develops.

The Cathartic Theory (Freud 1908), perceives play as representing an attempt to partly satisfy drives or solve conflicts where the means for doing so lacks in the child thus a child has temporarily worked through a drive through play hence temporary resolution to the drive.

Among the modern and post modern theories is also the Psychoanalytic Theory by Buhler (1930) and Anna Freud (1937). They suggested that play in children does not only represent wish-fulfilling attempts but also attempts to cope with anxiety provoking situations which may overwhelm the child thus according to Freud and Buhler, play in children is both defensive and adaptive to deal with anxiety (Singer et al., 2006). Other current theories are Piagets cognitive theory which has been explained in the earlier stages of this paper.

Play does not only promote normal child development, but also helps them deal with experiences existing in the environment. Children who lack verbal self expression are able to articulate their feeling and issues through play (Haworth, 1964). Play acts as a means of helping children deal with emotional and behavioral issues. In therapy for example, toys and play materials are provided to inform the child that that space and time is different from all others and that the child should feel free to be fully themselves (James et al)). The child then plays out concerns and issues, which may be too horrific or anxiety producing to directly confront them in the presence of anybody who can help them to feel heard and understood. Symbolic representations through play activities with dolls and puppets give children emotional distance from emotionally attached experiences, thoughts and feelings (Coolhan K. et al., 2000).

Play is also used to conquer fear in children and thus playfulness in children dispels depression and stress (Coolhan K. et al., 2000). Therefore allowing a child to play hide-and-seek in a darkened room can help in conquering fear of the dark. Moreover, dramatic play with hospital-related toys can help to significantly reduce hospital-specific fears. At the same time, Fantasy play helps a child to move from a passive to an active role for example when a child engages in role-playing giving an injection to a doll patient. Fantasy play in children also fosters the expression of several defense mechanisms like projection, displacement, repetition, and identification (James et al).

In as much as Play contributes to the cognitive, social, emotional and mental well-being of children, free time for children to engage in playing has been greatly reduced by technological development which has brought factors such as hurried lifestyle, changes in family structure, and increased attention to academics and enrichment (Hurtwitz S., 2002).

Children who are under forced labour and exploitation are not able to get time and freedom to play. In the current world, there are issues like war and neighborhood violence in which case children are not able to play due insecurity. Children from poverty stricken homes have no resources that facilitate safe playing. However, even those children from well off families with adequate resources may not be benefiting from play due to an increasingly hurried and pressured lifestyle that prevent them from protected self-driven play (Almon et al., 2004).

Many children due to technology are currently getting less time for free exploratory play because they are hurried to adapt into adult roles and their future roles at young tender ages (James et al). Parents are misled with carefully marketed messages that model parents expose their children to every opportunity available to advance hence they go on buying many enrichment tools to ensure their children take part in many activities instead of free exploratory play. Some children may be given specialized books and toys meant to stimulate them to develop adequately while others are provided with gyms and enrichment programs after school (Ginsberg K., 2007). Many of these tools and programs are available and highly advertised to parents who believed they are necessary for good development of their children. Therefore in many occasions, much of the time is spent organizing for special events or taking children to those events which also deplete the family’s financial resources. Free self-driven play which is important to children is replaced by highly packed adult-supervised or adult-driven activities, and this limits creativity in children (singer et al., 2006).

In addition, this hurried lifestyle brings stress and anxiety related disorders like depression for some children. Increased pressure to perform well in academics possibly manifests in school avoidance and somatic symptoms. The reduction in play may also be due to passive entertainment via television or computer/video games. In contrast to the health benefits of active, creative play and the known developmental benefits organized activities, there is ample evidence that this passive entertainment is not healthy and has harmful effects (Smith D., 1995). In other cases, children who are exposed to videos and computer programs at an early age get addicted to TVs, Computers (laptops) where they engage in computer games or chatting via internet and other staffs most of the time, and for such children, their creativity and motor skills is usually low (Coolhan K. et al, 2000).

It has been established that increased attention on academics and other enrichment activities by children plus the family due to the effects of technology and modernism has replaced children’s play. After school children rarely get time to play. Instead they are forced to sit at the table and complete their homework given in school. At the same time, their parents put on them pressure to study extensively forgetting to spare any little time for play (Ginsberg K., 2001).

In addition, schoolchildren are allocated less free time and fewer physical outlets at school; for example in the U.S.A, many school districts respond to the ‘No Child Left Behind Act of 200137’ by reducing time committed to recess, the creative arts, and even physical education in an effort to focus on reading and mathematics. Due to technology, the art of building also does not favor play in children and this trend affects the social and emotional development of children. Moreover, many after-school child care programs prefer an extension of academics and homework completion over organized and free playas well as physical activity.

In conclusion, play generally affects the ability to store new information in children since their cognitive capacity is developed by a significant change in activity. A change in activity does not mean in academic instruction, class topic or formal structured physical education class but strictly free-play recess (Coolhan K.et al., 2000). Less time for play in schools may be contributing to discordant academic abilities between boys and girls. This is because schools with sedentary learning styles have become a difficult place for boys to survive successfully (Almon J., 2004).

The pioneer of the highly practiced discipline of psychology, Sigmund Freud, has become unpopular amongst the modern students of psychology (Mayseless, 2006). Nevertheless, Sigmund Freud’s theory of oedipal crisis still remains intact. No one has been able to go against Oedipal theory, which says that children learn the way to behave from no one else, but their parents. Oedipal theory of Sigmund Freud clearly states that children correlate more with the parents of same gender. A daughter is more attracted to her mother and likewise, a son is more attracted towards his father. Oedipal theory implies that the way parents would then behave will impact how children behave. For example, many of us must have seen that little girls are very fond of putting makeup so the question is how is it that the little girls knew putting on makeup is good (Boeree, 2009). The deal here is that the daughters have been observing their mother and imitating their mothers. This reinforces that parent’s attitude and behavior shapes children’s personality. This is a learning process for children and no one ever learns in isolation. Every observation, interaction and experience leads to an addition of learning. This leads us to the central idea that the kind of company your parents involve you with, the schooling they give you and the life dynamics they teach you are the critical factors that lead to a child’s success.

Schooling

A child experiences a lot of stress when the child is in the stage of transition such as new school, new neighborhood, a new teacher or even exams (Harris, 2010). In these transitory situations parents can introduce children to new surroundings and parents can continuously ask their children if they have any concerns of queries. This is a way a child can successfully and without stress cope up with situations he faces during his school times. The process of accommodating and adjusting begins with the parents at home where they train their children in how to deal with tough situations. The students whose parents are interested and involved in children’s schooling have advanced career and educational objectives. And parents’ persuade on how their children believe about the future and execute in school continues through teenage years. In order for children to arrive at their potential, they call for their parents as knowledgeable advocates (Brown, 2009).

Since parents generally raise the children to whom they have passed on their genes, that’s hardly ever a trouble: they are likely to split and maybe be glad about the qualities of their children: And the atmosphere they present their children with may further carry their abilities: educated parent’s may give birth to a similarly verbal child, then bring his/her in a home full of books (Halfon, 2002). The job of teaching children begins in home. Teachers have the children seven hours a day, 180 days a year. During the other 17 hours of the school days and the other 185 days a year can have both constructive and unconstructive result on the child’s ability of accomplishment in school. Nothing will assist schools do well more than parents who give a secure and affectionate atmosphere, who look after their children’s physical and emotional needs (Dana, 2008).

Good quality teachers are vital to students, but good parents are crucial (n.a, 2009). If you desire your child to accomplish something, bear in mind that educational success begins from home. However, let me take this occasion to direct the readers that no school can be an alternative for and no child can shine without the supervision and support of a devoted parent. Children today live in two different worlds: home and the world outside the home. There is small difference between these two worlds, but the system for how to behave in them is fairly different. Displays of feeling, for example, are often acknowledged by parents but discouraged by teachers or friends. Rewards and punishment are different too. At home, children may be told off for their failure and praised for their accomplishment; outside the home, they may be a mockery when they make an error or mistreated when they behave appropriately.

Parents are the driving force behind children in the world. Children whose parents are concerned about their schooling have superior career goals than other children (Stevenson & Baker, 1987). But the difficulty these days is parents hardly spent time with their children which used to be the cases earlier in the days, due to the fact that parents have to work to support the family and children have begun school. Also, children start to make their own friends and get involved in after school activities. The important thing that could help children to be success in their lives is family unity.

Life

Parents should direct children in family harmony. Family unity is a family being as one in happy and peaceful. Also, the meaning of family harmony is that in spite of how tough the circumstances are, it will carry us together and make our relation stronger. It would have nice to have parents to implement systems at home. For example, if parents would be home children would do homework instead of going outside to play. Another example is having dinner together. There are many things that can be discussed at the dinner table. Talks about how the day went by, the happenings at school, work, upcoming events, share funny stories and express concerns about things that are important to us. Having parents spend time with children are very good example of family values. To be able to inspire children to success, one of the key factors to consider is the emotional up bringing of the child. One of our pressing challenges is to gain knowledge of and recognize the new information there is on hand to us relating to the growth and development of the brain and emotions and how this procedure affects our performance as individuals and society as a whole. Studies have shown when the emotional needs of the fetus and infants are intentionally or unintentionally ignored or unnoticed, these babies grow up to be very angry teenagers and adults.

Life

Parents need to understand the emotional requirement when the baby is to be born and after birth as well to help them rise as good human beings (Chugh, 2010). Parents should make a conscious attempt to recognize and praise your children for their good traits. Sometimes it is essential to take a gap from the hurry of life and enjoy the magnificent qualities that your children have. Don’t think for an instant that a mental note is sufficient. Point out your children’s good qualities and let them build upon them. Talk to your kids in a constructive way. Talk to them in a friendly way about any topic they wish to talk about. Avoid falling into the trap of talking to your kids only when you need to discipline them. Children get your concentration most effortlessly when they are getting into nuisance, but don’t make this the only time you talk to them because your language will be less than pleasing. Give your children the advantage of positive communication and they will be more likely to talk to you in good times and bad (Ramirez, 2008).

Be conscious of the way you pay attention to your children-particularly when you are busy (Ramirez, 2008). Take care to promise your children that you believe that what your children say is vital. At times when you are preoccupied, it is effortless to make the error of answering your children without giving full attention to what your children are saying. Take note of it and pay more concentration to your children. As a parent, you would surely take offense if your children answered you in this way. Be sure to look at them when your children are conversing to you. This may take a little extra effort, but it will make you give them the attention they deserve, and your children will see that you believe that what they say is important (Ramirez, 2008).

Conclusion

It is rightly said that education begins from home; parents are the most important factor in a child’s development towards success in school, college and professional career (McEntire, 2006). From emotional to physical development of the child all starts from home, if children are having a rough time at school and among friends, parents are the one who can comfort, nurture and take care of them and teach them the ways to stand up for themselves when it matters the most. Major part of a child’s life is spent with the parents and not at school therefore main part of learning is also taught at home, schools are only there to polish the skills, it is the parents who play the most vital role in the success of a child (McEntire, 2006).

Education is one of the main crucial aspects towards human development. This means, it is important in shaping human life and development. There are several types of education namely formal, informal and non formal education. These types of education are normally given since childhood to adulthood and they vary from society to society. Childhood is a critical stage in human development so education provided during that period needs to be a special one. Several authors have done some works to show weaknesses in childhood education systems and pedagogies and they have identified some measures to improve. Those authors include Maria Montessori and Margaret Mead. They show the need for educational reform in order to bring people’s socio-economic development. The main purpose of this paper is therefore to identify some problems and weaknesses in educating children and to provide suggested measures for improvement. It will focus on the work of Maria Montessori which was based in Italy experience and Margaret Mead basing in America and Samoa [1] experience. The paper will focus on formal education in schools and informal education in the homes.

Maria Montessori (1912) in her work, “the Montessori method”, argues that through different ways, the existed education system is not proper to children. She shows weakness of the old scientific pedagogy and proposing new kind of scientific pedagogy. She says, the principle of slavery pervades pedagogy and therefore the same principle pervades school. She argues for reform and transformation of the whole school environment including the roles of educators, school buildings, sitting arrangement, lessons to be taught as well as the teachings methods. She is proposing the Montessori Method as a critical consideration of the new pedagogy in its relation to modern science. She shows the need to move away from a false and narrow way of educating children to a more free system in order to have a true and proper system for training the future generation.

Starting with the role of teachers or educators, she says they should be very well prepared on how to deal and interact with children. That preparation should be based on the spirit rather than on the mechanism in order to awaken their mind and hearts. To her, the teachers tend to pour certain knowledge and facts into the heads of the pupils and in order to succeed in that they need to discipline the pupils into immobility and force their attention through systems of prizes and punishments. She argues that prizes and punishments are instrument of slavery of the spirit and they are incentives toward unnatural or forced effort and that cannot be considered as natural development of the child. Even if nowadays there are no whippings or other forms of punishments in schools, even scolding of teachers or giving a pupil bad mark is not encouraged by the author. This system of prizes may turn an individual aside from true choices and make him/her choose a false one and forced to follow it.

Prizes and punishments may have various negative consequences for the children because even in future, at work the children will tend to work for prizes and rewards instead of professional motivation. However, the system is still very common and continues today in many parts of the world and people are so rigid to change it. It is argued that education should guide children’s learning but it represses instead. According to Montessori, the teacher’s task should be to nourish, assist, watch, encourage, guide, induce, rather than to interfere, restrict or prescribe.

In case of school buildings, class rooms and sitting arrangement, she says they are structured in such way that they prevent and repress children mobility and behaviours. They also make the children to study in unhygienic conditions which endanger even their physical development. She argues that it is not good for children to grow up in an artificial environment so she proposes pupils’ liberty, auto education, establishment of harmony between the work and activities of home life and school tasks so as to improve the children education. She says the scientific pedagogy in the school should permit free and natural manifestations of the child. It is true that free children can learn best than those tied to false and fake environment which does not portray their real life. Restricting children mobility in schools has similar consequences like rewards and punishments. It degrades their bodies and spirits and can lead to forced discipline and lack of confidence.

The Montessori Method consists of various lessons including intellectual education, muscular education and education of the senses to name a few. She believes that education of the senses is very important for guiding practical life. At the same time, Montessori drives our attention to the role of religious education as being important to guide children moral life. In this case, the education system needs to be comprehensive and it should not just focus on teaching children reading, writing and arithmetic. However, in our contemporary society this may not be very practical because of the declining role of religion in people’s life. There are people who do not practice any religion anymore.

It is argued that, the Montessori system is not yet complete but it comprises a system well enough established to be practical in all child care institutions and in the first elementary classes. The system originated from the preceding pedagogical experiences with abnormal children when it was discovered that abnormal children when taught in a different and special way and if helped in their psychic development they can be able to learn and compete with normal children. This fact proved that the normal children are being suffocated and repressed hence they do not reach their full development. This derived the need to apply similar methods to normal children so as to develop and set free their personality. It is believed that these methods will guard a person’s natural life and free him or her from the so called oppressive and degrading society. Montessori now saw the need to apply her methods and to develop didactic materials [2] which could effectively be used in the so called Children Houses [3] . It is also important to mention that the Montessori system represents the successive work of other three physicians namely Itard, Seguin and Kant.

The system had been widely accepted and it is applied in many countries including the developed and developing countries. However, it needs special skills, knowledge and materials so it can be argued that it is expensive to run. It is applied in some private schools but it is a challenge in public schools. Also it application can conflict with the home environment of the child when there are two different systems at home and school. It can function well if parents are also aware of it.

Mead (1928), in her work on “Coming of Age in Samoa”, also analyses gaps and weaknesses in the education system in America by comparing it with Samoa experience. Mead focuses more on the child’s home environment but also she analyzes the child’s school environment. When analysing education of the Samoan child, she explains how children from infant stage are raised and different roles of family members in raising children. She also shows how children are handled and educated before and after puberty until they get married. Here, she has analysed an African society of Samoa which has not yet received external contacts from other countries especially the developed countries. The society she also describes as a primitive society. She analyses this society by showing how a child learns from his or her surrounding environment. However, she does not argue that it is perfect way of raising and educating children but she points out that there are crucial things which a developed society such as America can learn from it. Like Montessori, she acknowledges the importance of a child’s home and natural environment for learning.

In Samoa, from birth until the age of four of five a child’s education is simple, focussing on physical development such as learning how to sit and crawl. Young girl and boys of six or seven years are the ones responsible for caring, socializing and disciplining the small children. However, there is unequal treatment for boys and girls because girls are more burned with child caring responsibility and they have little opportunity to learn some other forms of work and play compared to the boys. However, it is noted that with the introduction of formal schooling by the government, the children are now being removed from home and they stay in school for many hours. This will in turn bring disorganization and change of the traditional system.

Mead sees several problems in the American education system in comparing it with Samoa. In Samoa, children are not forced to learn or punished harshly for slowness of development as in America. She argues that punishments such as whippings in schools can make a child able to make mathematical calculations but she/he won’t be able to interpret or make sense of it. Like Montessori she criticizes punishments in schools but she doesn’t identify rewards as a problem.

She also argues that, the American education system tends to confuse pupils because it fails to make important connection between the school and the home environment. There are cases where by things allowed at home are not allowed at school. American children spend many hours in school learning tasks which do not have visible connections with what their parents are doing as opposed to Samoan children. They are also encouraged and left to play with toys and dolls which are meaningless. The education system fails to include children participation and integrating school life with the surrounding community like what Samoa does to its children. American boys and girls finish school at the age of 14 and 18 and are ready to work but they have few choices to make because the education and the skills they get influence which work they should do. Here, she calls for an education system which will prepare and train the children the choices which confront them. She suggests education in the home even more than at school. Like Montessori, Mead also stresses the need for practical education. For Montessori, a good way for solving this problem had been to establish children houses.

Mead adds that, education system in America had the problem of handling children of different endowment and different rates of development. There had been a tendency of keeping children in one educational step for a long time in order to give time to the mentally defective children to catch up. This has many disadvantages to the children and to Montessori also, this is a way of repressing and degrading child’s full development.

Generally, Mead sees problems in educating and treating children at home and in schools. She urges for education reform which will enable children to make important choices for their life. Education should also give more attention to mental and physical hygiene and in this way like Montessori, she argues that a child needs to be health in mind and body and she or he should learn freely without being tied to some systems or to one regime. America has a heterogeneous culture and various philosophies so children should be taught how to think instead of not to think. They need to be taught how to make individual choices and to tolerate the heterogeneous culture.

In conclusion, the two authors have identified how education of children is structured and they have identified errors gaps and weaknesses which need to be worked on. Although the authors come from two different societies they have been able to identify some common problems and in one way or another some similar measures on educational reform. This might be due to the fact that they have some similar background as developed countries. It is surprisingly true that the problems identified persist in many other countries including the developing countries till today. In that case, it can be argued that the developing countries might have adopted similar educational schemes through colonialism.

Sex education is a broadly used term that can be used to describe education about human sexual anatomy, sexual reproduction, sexual intercourse, reproductive health, emotional relations, reproductive rights and responsibilities, contraception, and other aspects of human sexual behavior. Some of the common avenues for sex education are parents or caregivers and school programs. The question this essay is going to assess is whether sex education be allowed to be taught in primary schools, this is because nowadays young people do not have a clear understanding about Sex education, therefore the government is now trying to introduce sex education in primary schools .Sex education is about helping to develop young people skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. This essay is also going to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of sex education by looking at parent’s views on the topic as well as research that has been conducted regarding sex education. First I will start with the aim and strengths of sex education and then move on to its weaknesses.

It is important for sex education to begin at an early age and also provided that it is sustained giving young people basic information from an early stage in their lives to offer the foundation on which more complex knowledge is build up over time, for example , when they are very young , children can be educated about how people grow and change over time , how to manage their emotions and the physical changes to their bodies in childhood and how they progress from different stages in their lives, therefore this provides the basis on which they understand more detailed information about puberty provided in the pre-teenage years, they can also at a young age be provided with information about viruses and germs that attack the body , this provide the basis for talking to them later about infection that can be caught through sexual contact.

Sex education aims to reduce the risk of potentially negative outcomes from sexual behaviour such as unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and infections with sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. Studies show that many teenagers become sexually active before the inclusion of the educational classes. Early inclusion of classes has proven to help students remain either abstinent or to at least be responsible if they are active.

It also aims to contribute to young people positive experience of their sexuality by enhancing the quality of their relationships and their ability to make informed decisions over their life time.

Effective sex education develops younger people’s skills in negotiation, decision making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognize pressures from other peers and to resist them, dealing with and challenging prejudice and being able to seek help from adults including parents, and professionals, through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education if taught at early age can also help equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information and discuss a rage of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.

Sex education also do provide young people with an opportunity to explore the reason why people have sex, and to think about how it evolve emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies.

People who have been in favour of sex education are for example, Jim Knight, the Schools Minister, who said that making time in the national curriculum for these classes, as part of a new personal social and health education (PSHE) syllabus would ensure that young people were better equipped “to navigate the complexities of modern life”.

He insisted, however, that very young children would not be given sexually explicit lessons. “We are not talking about five-year-olds being taught about sex . . . What we are talking about in Key Stage 1 (when children are aged 5 to 7) is children learning about themselves, their differences, their friendships, how to manage their feelings.”

Having to teach sex education to young people can be a disturbing experience as they are still young and their understanding is not yet fully developed. Controversies are abundant when dealing with such delicate issues and there are many disadvantages to sexual education being taught in primary schools. It seems that most parents are either strongly against or strongly in favour of sexual education classes, but very few parents are in the middle ground. And, in fact, there are more parents that are in favour of sexual education classes

Some of the difficulties primary teachers might face are that first of all they are not always trained how to properly teach sexual education courses and may transgress their own beliefs or morals into the subject matter rather than stick with the facts. Which will lead to confusion later in life because it might be that secondary teachers are more trained therefore they stick to the facts; this results students to be bewildered about what is actually the right and wrong.

Often, sexual education can go against an individual’s moral or religious beliefs. Many schools do not teach abstinence only but teach how to have intercourse safely, whereas many religious and family values stress marriage before intercourse. This will result in parents withdrawing their children from classes, especially when it concerns girls; parents tend to be more strict than towards boys. An example of this is from The Times newspaper as a mother explains why she if removing her daughter from sex education classes “… For her, the horror began with a childbirth video last summer term. I have no idea how graphic it was – neither does Ruby, because she buried her head in her hands as soon as she saw the woman’s face, which was, in Ruby’s words, “twisted in pain”. The woman’s cries scared her and Ruby came home in tears, doubting that she would ever have children. Several ashen-faced boys said that they were sure glad they weren’t girls. Then came the animated stick people having sex, complete with zoom- in diagrams.”

These classes also tend to be gendered due to the fact that their central focus is teenage pregnancy, which means most of the advice they have to offer is on contraceptives. Also the sex education field is mostly dominated by females and as a result boys do not have role models to teach them about everything or have people who have previously experienced what they are experiencing now. Consequently due to the lack of males in the sex education field boys will start to think it does not concern them therefore they will start to lose interest especially at a young age students may still suffer from embarrassment or get excitable by the topic matter. This can cause for out of control classrooms if students take to giggling or making inappropriate remarks.

Furthermore, while information about contraception and safe sex is discretionary and discussion about relationships is often neglected teenagers tent to grow up without knowing much about relationships therefore they lack knowledge on how to maintain or work on relationships.

In addition some teachers usually discuss student’s issues in the staff room for example in a 2000 study by the University of Brighton, many 14 to 15 year olds reported disappointment with the content of sex education lessons and felt that lack of confidentiality prevents teenagers from asking teachers about contraception In a 2008 study conducted by YouGov for Channel 4 it was revealed that almost three in ten teenagers say they need more sex and relationships education. The Guardian Unlimited: (2009)

Having assessed sex education through its pros and cons, it is however clear that this topic has more weaknesses than strengths. Nevertheless it is also clear that sex education can have both positive and negative effects on people’s lives. For example using the extract from The Times, the child could have come how crying because her knowledge on sex education is not fully developed therefore, for her to see those images scared her. However it could be positive in a way that that video had prepared her for the future, whenever she comes into contact with that circumstance again she will would have already known about it. To conclude it all comes down to how the topic is taught, if it should be taught at age 5 as Jim knight the school minister said then they should be shown the very basic of sex education not too much graphics however the knowledge can gradually be built up as time goes on.

Referencing

The Guardian Unlimited: (2009) Children under 15 can be withdrawn from sex education(Accessed 14 Dec 2009)

Ann Moore (2009)Times, The (London, England) – Too much, too young – As the Government sets out new rules for sex education , Anna Moore explains why she is removing her daughter from the classes (Accessed 14 Dec 2009)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/education/article4998206.ece

Single sex school is better than co-ed school as it brings more confidence to every individual. Single sex education as known as single-gender education, is the practice of conducting education where male and female students attend separate classes or schools while co-ed school is the integrated education of males and females in the same institution.

Socially, single sex school makes for more mature people earlier. Young people learn more from experience of diversity. Educationally, single sex schools seem to be better for girls to do well at “traditionally male” subjects like chemistry and physics. Emotionally it encourages sexual relationships which some say it’s a distraction from education or is to be objected to morally especially for girls which is why Islam forbids coeducation. If a boy isn’t “male stereotype” in personality he is more likely to be lonely in a single-sex school because with co-ed he may find girls to hang out with. Generally single-sex schools tend to have better academic grades and better discipline, but this may be because most of the hard-working Hindu and Muslim children go there or for other reason that allow them to select against disruptive and disaffected kids, rather than because they are single-sex.

Furthermore, single sex schools are more educational than co-ed school because boys are less attracted by girls and girls are also less obsessed with the boys. Therefore, students may pay more attention on classes while all students are same sex. Besides, they will also break out of their behavior when they are left to their own devices. Single sex education has a delightful way of encouraging students to be fearless, to be curious, to be enthusiastic, and to just be themselves. Single sex education with more controlled social outlets is just the ticket for many students. Firstly is less pressure to act cool around friends of other sex. Secondly is less conflict between friends of the opposite sex. Thirdly is more relaxed attitude such as not putting on a show for boys or girls they like. Last but not least, they have lower levels of anxiety over appearance or clothing. Also, less emotional stress brought on by the “head games” teens play while in relationships.

There are several reasons for choosing a single sex school. For boys, they tend to soften their competitive edge and become more cooperative in a single sex school. They can just be boys and not worry about what girls might think or judge them. Furthermore, boys enjoy playing in an orchestra as opposed to a marching band and learn Latin in single sex settings.

For girls, teachers will quickly feel comfortable exploring non-traditional subjects like mathematics, advanced science, computers, and technology if the teacher understands how to teach girls. Besides, they may drop their shyness in a single sex setting. They join some sports like hockey, football follow their hobbies without worrying about appearing like tom boys girls are free from sexual harassment which always happens in co-ed high schools. In all-girls schools, girls take over all the positions of leadership whether it’s drama, sports, or debate team. Also, they participate in class discussions freely, which boys always dominate in co-educational schools. They tend to gain confidence in themselves as students and score higher on their examinations. Girls no longer have to live up to expectations that they must be nice, quiet, non-athletic, and passive. Moreover, girls may work harder without boys distracting them. Girls’ brains usually work differently from boys’ because girls are more likely to take up subjects normally dominated by boys. For example like maths and sciences.

On the other hand, co-ed schools are many like gender stereotyping has mostly seen in these institutes. Both sexes are almost immature in the very young age and they get mix and are not able to keep a distance. Teacher favoritism is also major issues like some teachers favor girls and some boys. It has been observed that Co-education can cause gender stereotyping. Many students are not able to focus on their studies and they become interested in each other at very young age. Some favoritism has also been observed. In co-education sometimes it becomes difficult for the parents to manage their kids. Students are more likely to become fashion conscious. It can affect the natural learning for some of the students.

Co-Education is bad because it create the complex in the poor student who cannot afford expensive mobiles, car, motorbike etc. The one big disadvantage about having boys and girls in the same class is when we go for physical education. Boys and girls just cannot do the same type of exercise or play the same game together. So we need to have two teachers, one for the boys and one for the girls. Our headmaster has come up with the ingenious solution of having two classes doing P.E. at the same time so that the boys and girls from each class combine together under one teacher each.

There are certain conservative people criticize the system of co-education. According to them, this system is against our tradition. They also fear that co-education will develop immoral relationships between boys and girls. They believe that in this system both the boys and girls will be spoilt. The negative aspect is engaging in some non required activities like mostly in coeducation girls and boys are found hanging around those cafes and pubs bunking the classes and this all stinks

There are also certain disadvantages of co-education. First, co-education is against the law of nature. Girls and boys are temperamentally different from each other. They have different duties to perform. A girl is required to receive education which can make her a good wife and a good mother while a boy is required to receive education which can make him a good husband and a good father. A Uniform education cannot help them be expert in their respective fields. Thus the very idea of co-education is wrong. Then co-education is against our traditions. It will develop immoral relations between boys and girls. Young boys and girls may fall a victim to their emotions.

Moreover, research on coeducation has shown that coeducation in its commonly practiced form tends to reinforce rather than diminish gender stereotypes. For several years the studies concentrated on girls, only during the last seven years or so the focus shifted to boys. All in all, it can be said that coeducation has proved to be of great disadvantage for both sexes. Some of the most common disadvantages for girls are having less space at their disposal, literally as well as symbolically speaking in coeducational classes. Furthermore, no matter if the teachers are male or female, girls get only few fraction of the teachers’ attention compared to boys. Also girls are abused as “social workers”, according to the motto ” seat a well-behaved girl next to a disruptive boy”, so as to create an orderly working situation in the classroom. Girls’ achievements in school are discriminatingly attributed to their diligence versus boys’ intelligence. Disruptive girls are treated much more severely than disruptive boys. Boys are given more speaking time during lessons. Cooperative behavior of girls’ is labeled as “conformity”, whereas boys` competitive attitudes are usually admired and seen positively by teachers. Girls` contributions in lessons are often pulled to pieces by their male classmates. They are also humiliated, degraded and ridiculed. Even today girls are little motivated for science and mathematics and still opt for traditional female subjects like languages and humanities. The same applies to the choice of schools – girl tend to attend schools that are traditionally associated with female education and shun technical schools. Girls` strengths are often not seen as such: cooperative behaviour, high commitment in school, social intelligence, high achievements, good performances, to name but a few.

During the early years of research on gender and school ( from the late seventies onward), most of the studies dealt with girls. Programmers to strengthen girls were developed and practised. As a result – not only of this , but also of the crisis of the male in Western world in general – boys seem to have become even more disruptive and difficult. And so it was realized that coeducation cannot be improved without working with both sexes. As a result the focus of researchers to a very high degree female turned to boys, particularly boys up to the age of 14 or 15. Also, there was a change as to the approach: In the early days of gender – conscious work in schools (notably with girls), girls were seen as having deficits compared to boys. From the late eighties onwards the approach was that of a concept of difference, with the vision of a school in in that offered equal opportunities for both boys and girls, reinforcing non-traditional gender stereotypes rather than perpetuating the traditional ones.

Besides, the disadvantages of coeducation for boys are most of the boys have great problems in the field of social competence. Cooperative methods of work are difficult for them (group and teamwork, for example) – whereas, vice versa, girls find competitive methods more difficult. Boys tend to “solve” conflicts with physical and verbal aggressions. They lag behind considerably in language learning, achieving far worse results. In general, male pupils have worse results in school, fail more often and have a higher dropout rate.

As a conclusion the advantages and disadvantages of attending a single sex school or co-educational school are now being looked into more closely when the decision is being made on which environment is best for a child to learn. Each school environment has pros and cons to offer the student. What is important is that the right learning environment is selected based on the one student and how they learn. When a student is not placed in the right learning environment for them they can begin to fall behind the rest of the class. It is important to keep in mind that neither learning environment has yet to show that is the best learning environment for all children to be taught in. This is why the question “Is a single sex school or a mixed school the best learning environment for my child?” is been asked more and more recently but as a advantage they would able to know how to behave and the difference between them.

The purpose of this essay is to evaluate how friendships and social interactions with peers, influence the social development of children. Furthermore, to consider the links between family relationships societal influences and the effects that these have on children’s social development in early life. In addition to understand the complexities of an adult’s role when supporting children’s social development, in the nursery setting.

Research suggests that friendships are fundamental in providing future relationships, which help children cope with the stresses of life; learning to make and keep friends is one of the most important influences in the social development of children Early Excellence for Childhood Development (2009). Establishing relationships with peers is one of the major development tasks of early childhood, and how well they fare at this time, matters not only to the children themselves, but also to their future Shonkoff and Phillips (2000:163). This is in line with Phal (2000) ‘it is not friendships per se that is important but the trust security feelings of self-esteem and of love are important’ (:148). Children’s friendships with others build upon two individual interactions based on trust respect and security Shaffer (1996:324). Shaffer further suggests that ‘sociability plays a key part in the social development of children and that this depends on the skills children acquire during the first years of life’ (:325).

By the age of two years, children begin ‘enjoy playing with peers, laughing, talking, yet with trial and error; they learn to carry out their social skills’ (Development Milestones 2006), talking helps children make sense of things, and this puts things into perspective. However, children become protective of their possessions, which results in them not sharing, nevertheless, ‘children’s interactions grow out of egocentric modes of thinking and by being confronted with peer’s points of view and through peer interactions’ (Piaget 1932). Even so, ‘children learn ways in which, their cooperation is welcomed, and how they can take part for what they want’ (Elkin and Handel, 1978). Furthermore, they start imitating their peers at early ages, spending lots of time watching what they do, even though, children between the ages of two to three years, are more likely to be self-centred and are not interested in others feelings’.

Piaget also states “as children get older they learn how to share and take turns, and start to make friends with peers within their social groups, and in social situations” (1932:47), such as swimming clubs, dance or football lessons. Equally as children become aware of the world around them, in particular how everything in it relates to them, they learn to make friends, and start communicating with their peers, both within their own age group and older. ‘Children move in peer environments offering opportunities for support, and develop an understanding of others’ (Piaget 1932:42). Such as befriending younger peers, as some children need help in bridging their differences, in finding ways to learn from and enjoy the company of one another. Additionally, once children learn to empathise with their peers, they will learn how much fun it is to have friendships, and that these may turn into long-lasting relationships. Equally, children’s acceptance by their peers are influenced by factors such as, relationships at home including relationships with siblings, children’s own behaviour, relationships with parents and parents own relationships with each other. Families give children their social networks and social support, but children, who construct themselves in relationships with peers and friends, as well as parents, identify the rule of reciprocity and understand that personal and shared resources can have mutual benefits. Research suggests that this is especially true when making friendships. Therefore, children who show negative behaviour towards their peers will find it difficult to make friends. ‘Peer difficulties in the early years are predictors of future problems, such as, feelings of loneliness, aggression anxiety and depression (Shaffer 1996: 326).

However, some children differ in their social behaviour such as, individual personality’s temperaments extended family relationships, and cultural environments, which affect their social behaviour, (Rothbart & Bates, 1998; Kagan1992). What is right, or effective social behaviour in one culture, may not be in another. Such as eating food with fingers, this is acceptable in some eastern society; however, this is not acceptable in that of western society.

Evidence suggests, children enter society at the mercy of others, from the time they are born children have innate responses, these influence their social development outcomes, which will then continue and change throughout their lifespan. Family influences start from the time of conception with genetic makeup provided by parents, such as the colour of hair and eyes, height bone structure and temperament Shaffer (1996:163). However, the mother is the ‘primary caregiver, providing an environment to which the child will grow and mature; she provides the child with nourishment, a safe environment, and the necessary health care for her and her child’ (Elkin and Handle 1978). Consequently, the mother provides the child with the first smile sound touch taste, and attachment. According to Bowlby (1944) ‘for children to form relationships, they must first learn to develop an attachment with others’ this will lead children to form bonds and secure attachments with others later in life (:62). Children become dependent on their family to provide clothing food shelter a clean safe environment, support, access to necessary health care and education. Children come to feel loved, valued, and learn to believe in a shared set of values and beliefs The Family Paediatrics Report (2003). Children also receive; care for their dependency and attention for their sociability, however, the kind of care and attention children receive during their early years will affect their management of important issues in later life, such as trust and distrust, Shonkoff and Phillips (2000:265). Therefore, the kind of parenting styles influence children’s social development and children’s characteristics according to Baumrind (1971) children who have authoritative parents tend to be self-reliant self-controlled cooperative socially responsible and keen to achieve, because parents have the power control, and how they direct their children. Children with permissive parents tend to lack confidence in voicing their opinions, are not interested in success and have no direction, as parents have limited control over them, over indulgence and inconsistencies regarding discipline. However, these parents are very loving and affectionate. Authoritarian parents on the other hand, tend to be in control over their children, giving them strict rules but in ways that encourages communication and mutual respect. Whereas Authoritarian parents are more involved, are more responsive sensitive and attentive to their children’s individual needs. However, children whose parents use this parenting style have children that are more likely to be impolite, rebellious and especially in boys socially incompetent. Rejecting-Neglecting parents however, shows an emotionally detached style of parenting with little effort of providing food and clothes for their children, they are uncaring do not watch or support their children’s activities they do not provide structure for the social rules or an understanding of the world they live in, and actively reject their responsibilities to rearing of their children. In addition, they have a combination of low approval and low involvement with little interest in the control of general indifferences to issues autonomy. Therefore, their children tend to be immature in cognitive and social development. However, personality may also influence and affect parent’s responses to some behaviour’s showing that parents may not in nature adopt these styles but be forced into them (Johnson and Nohamond-Williams). Although family is an important factor in influencing the social development of children, research suggests that ‘normal family’ is forever changing Shonkoff and Phillips (2000:263) with increases in divorce, one-parent families stepparents, cohabitation as well as civil partnerships and the growing diversity of values, beliefs ground rules culture, social and economic status. Shonkoff and Phillips (2000:264). However, the fundamentals of family life are to provide their children with a stable environment for children to learn through the process of socialisation to become acceptable members of society, besides social status recreation, and leisure pursuits. The family has also seen changes in terms of social values, attitudes and structure, such as that within the British Royal family and their conformity to social trends, with three out of the four children now divorced. Studies also show that children of divorced parents are at greater risk of emotional and behavioural problems, including depression The Family paediatrics Report (2003). Such children tend to have social difficulties and more problem relationships with one or, both parents, however, children’s inability to cope without the social support of their families can stem from social strains such as parental mental illness, substance abuse, violence, and divorce, Family Paediatrics Report, (2003). Studies show that parental abusive behaviour results from “parents negative interpretations of a child’s behaviour, poor social skills, and how they cope with stress” Goldsmith, (2001:184). Goldsmith (2001) further suggested, stress leads to problems of parent’s feelings of depression helplessness anger, exhaustion and marital tension. Nevertheless parent’s who develop better management skills will find it easy to form tactics, solve problems, and amend to change, therefore will have a sense of being in control Goldsmith, (2000:186). However, if the needs within family cannot be fulfilled the fulfilment of those needs can be sought after in the community, by dishonesty such as theft. Research suggests that unemployment and poverty can also affect the social development of children, with unemployment increasing the financial strain on family; this may compromise parent-child relationship by inducing hostility as well as reducing support and love in the home. Therefore, having an impact on the social environment to which the child develops, relating to Brofenbrenner’s ecological system theory, referring to the multiplicity of social influences that influence on children’s development.

“State parties recognise the right of every child to a standard of living adequate for the child`s physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development. ” (UN Convention, Article 27) (Daniel, P, 1998, p50)

There are two definitions of poverty; absolute and relative. Absolute poverty refers to a set of standards which is the same in all countries and which does not change over time, whereas relative poverty refers to a standard which is defined in terms in which the individual lives. In Britain we refer to relative poverty when discussing poverty, according to End child poverty. Org (2009) 4 million children, one in three, are currently living in poverty in the UK, http://www.endpoverty.org/

Any household with an income of less than 60% of the British Median is classified as in poverty. The official cut off line is ?199 per week for single parents and ?283.20 for a two parent family after housing has been paid (Gentleman, Amelia, 2009) It is often argued that if children are housed, fed and have access to free healthcare that they have nothing to complain about, Hilary Fisher, director of the campaign to End Child Poverty would disagree stating “half Dickensian, half wartime, with images of children in ill-fitting clothes, is very far from reality.” People have peculiarly outdated conceptions of British poverty (Gentleman, Amelia, 2009) http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

“Providing a week’s worth of meals for three people for ?6.66 a head is easy once you work out how, .The gas and electricity payments for the week have already been made, so she knows the children will be warm.” A mother’s words quoted from an article from The Guardian. She also rejects the suggestion that her family might be described as poor. “Oh no,” she says firmly. “We get by. http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

Poverty usually means children miss out on school trips, do not have adequate winter clothing and aren’t able to enjoy leisure activities with their peers. As a result, their education suffers – making it difficult to get the qualifications they need to move on to sustainable, well-paid jobs. This limits their potential to earn the money needed to support their own families in later life, and so a cycle of poverty is created.

According to Rowntree the two most significant causes of child poverty are long-term unemployment and the growing number of low paid jobs. (Daniel, P, 1998, p59) Children who grow up in poverty face a greater risk of having poor health, being exposed to crime and failing to reach their full potential. http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/strategy/parents/childpoverty/childpoverty/

Childhood is the most vulnerable time of life and health inequalities can have lasting effects throughout life. “Good health in the early years lays the foundations for positive development.” http://www.hmg.gov.uk/newopportunities/early_years/priority.aspx

Katy Morton says children living in poverty are more likely to be obese and have poor dental health. (Nursery World). Obesity can lead to an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, osteoarthritis and some cancers. http://www.food.gov.uk/science/dietarysurveys/lidnsbranch/

Attachment theory is the joint work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). He thereby revolutionized our thinking about a child’s tie to the mother and its disruption through separation, deprivation, and bereavement. Mary Ainsworth contributed the concept of the attachment figure as a secure base from which an infant can explore the world. http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/attachment/online/inge_origins.pdf.

Poverty reduces the parental bond and attachment between parent and child, due to the parent being pre-occupied with financial problems, housing worries and health problems, according to studies of parents in poor families (Huston, 199; McLoyd, 1990; Sampson & Laub, 1994) (Rudolph Schaffer, H, p346)

This could be argued that children whose parents are out of work and are at home with the children may have a better attachment with their children due to time spent at home` the first few months are vital in order for babies to form healthy attachments.` http ://www.hmg.gov.uk/newopportunities/early_years/priority.aspx

These studies also suggested that child that come from poorer homes often live in a chaotic and disorganized manner due to parents being too busy with their own problems and that children would more likely to be attracted to playing in the street and are more likely to come to harm within the home and outside of the home. That parents are more likely to use `erratic` and ` disciplinary techniques` to use physical punishment on their children. (Rudolph Schaffer, H, p346)

Many children who face poverty escape damage and develop into well-functioning adults. (Rudolph, Schaffer, H, p347) Poverty does not always lead to inadequate parenting but can have great effects on the children`s self esteem and self image leading to depression and worthlessness. (Rudolph, Schaffer, H, p347)

Children who have intellectual, athletic or artistic talent which leads to fulfilment are more likely to follow acceptable pathways rather than leading into anti-social behaviour, violence and crime. (Rudolph, Schaffer, H, p347) Where children who come from poverty their parents may not be able to afford the fees for such activities and not be able to fund the equipment needed, this could result in the child not being able to develop their talents. (Rudolph, Schaffer, H, p347)

It was in 1867 that Thomas Barnado set up the Ragged School and starting helping the abused, vulnerable, forgotten and neglected children of east London and his work still continues today. `Barnardo’s vision today is that the lives of all children and young people should be free from poverty, abuse and discrimination. Barnardo’s believe in the abused, the vulnerable, the forgotten and the neglected. We pledge to support them, stand up for them and bring out the best in each and every child` http://www.barnardos.org.uk/who_we_are/history.htm

A government-commissioned report on health inequalities will provide “a key influence” on future public health policy in the UK, according to Health Secretary Frank Dobson the Acheson report published in 1998 demonstrates the existence of health disparities and their relationship to social class, the report calls for an increase in benefits for expectant mothers as they have inadequate diets.

There is substantial evidence that reduced breast-feeding, small-for-gestational-age birth weight, Fe and I deficiency, and protein-energy malnutrition (PEM) are associated with long-term deficits in cognition and school achievement. However, all these conditions are associated with poverty and poor health, according to a report by S. M. Grantham-McGregor, S. P. Walker and S. Chang http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayFulltext?type=1&fid=796168&jid=PNS&volumeId=59&issueId=01&aid=796156 Cognitive development are stages that children have to pass through to understand and make sense of the world around them as stated by Piaget (Kehily, M, J, pg, 145, 2009)

Also stating that poverty has a disproportionate effect on children, and children under two are more expensive to look after than older children, but Income Support levels do not reflect this. Furthermore it states that many low income families do not have enough money to buy the items and services necessary for good health, meaning that money for food is often used to meet emergencies. The report calls for more funding for schools in deprived areas, better nutrition at schools and “health promoting schools”. Promoting health through the curriculum, offering free fresh fruit and avoid putting sweet machines on the premises. The report also states children from disadvantaged backgrounds achieve less at school than other children and are more likely to go on to get badly paid jobs or be unemployed. This leads to a vicious circle of health problems associated with low income and a perpetuation of the poverty trap. The poor are also twice as likely to have drink problems as the rich. Seventeen per cent of poor men and 6% of poor women has an alcohol problem, compared with 8% of rich men and 3% of rich women.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/222649.stm

Men and women with a lower level of educational achievement tended to have a ‘less healthy’ diet according to results from The Low Income Diet and Nutrition Survey (LIDNS). http://www.food.gov.uk/science/dietarysurveys/lidnsbranch/

In Britain in 1997, one home in every three was classified as a low-income household. With children being raised in poverty were less likely to attend school on a regular basis, not progressing on to further education and gaining qualifications to lead into employment. Girls were more likely to become young mothers and to fall into the same cycle of deprivation as their parents. There is a strong link between childhood experiences and adult life-chances. Former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, pledged in 1999, to end child poverty by 2020 with an interim target to halve child poverty by 2010/11. http://www.insidegovernment.co.uk/children/child_poverty/

Children living in poverty usually have to live in poor housing conditions, this can lead to the child having health problems like asthma, bronchitis,

living in bad housing can cause severe ill-health and disability before they reach middle age. they are more likely to be absent from school, child development suffers due to their home being cold and damp, their chest hurts when they breathe, and not being able to sleep at night, when the heating does not work as an article by lisa Harker states. http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/sep/13/comment.guardiansocietysupplementEvery Child Matters government programme for child welfare picks out health, safety, economic well-being, making a positive contribution, enjoying and achieving as the critical factors that shape children’s lives, there is no explicit recognition of the role that housing plays –

Children’s mental health is also affected. According to` The Shelter` children are teased at school because their clothes smell of damp, which affects self-confidence and they have low self-esteem.’ The condition of the house makes it difficult children to have friends round to play, which impacts on their social development. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-files/Society/documents/2006/09/12/Lifechancereport.pdf

In 1999 the Government made it a priority to eradicate child poverty within a generation. The Child Poverty Bill was introduced to provide a statutory basis for the commitment made by the government in 1999 to eradicate child poverty by 2020.

http://www.politics.co.uk/legislation/children-and-family/child-poverty-bill-$1307945.htm

`Sure Start brings together childcare, early education, health and family-support services for families with children under 5 years old. It is the cornerstone of the Government’s drive to tackle child poverty and social exclusion working with parents-to-be, parents, carers and children to promote the physical, intellectual and social development of babies and young children so that they can flourish at home and when they get to school.` http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/earlyyears/surestart/aboutsurestart/aboutsurestart/

From April 2009 expectant mothers are able to get a one-off, tax-free payment called the Health in Pregnancy Grant. The grant is a one-off payment of ?190 the money is to help parents with cost of a new baby. http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/hipg/what-is-it.htm#1 also a way of encouraging pregnant women to eat more healthily, to spend more money on fruit and vegetables. This was argued by Dr Mark porter from the Times that many mothers to be would spend the grant on `booze` and `fags` rather than on enriching food for their unborn. Recent research has shown that the nutritional status of the mother during pregnancy can have a profound long-term impact on her unborn baby’s health. This can alter the baby’s metabolism, permanently increasing the likelihood of a range of problems in adult life, including obesity, heart disease and high blood pressure. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article6086365.ece

Expectant mothers not having the sufficient vitamin can have greater risk of children developing diabetes, multiple sclerosis and possibly even autism according to Dr Mark Porter from The Times. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article6086365.ece

ADHD is associated with children of low birth weight; tobacco, alcohol and cocaine abuse during pregnancy although there is little evidence that ADHD can arise purely out of social or environmental factors such as poverty, family chaos, diet or poor parent management (Barkley, 1990).

http://www.adhdtraining.co.uk/about.php

The strong association noted in a study between maternal mental health and childhood ADHD, single-parent families of lower income may be the most affected population.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/111/5/S1/1232

The Government introduced the Child Benefit in 1977 replacing family allowances and child tax allowances it is a tax-free payment that can be claimed for children. . There are two separate amounts, with a higher amount for the eldest (or only) child of ?20.00 a week ?13.20 a week for any other children. Child Benefit is flat-rate and not age-related. `The case for age relation is that children become more expensive as they grow older. ` .http://www2.rgu.ac.uk/publicpolicy/introduction/socialsecurity.htm?CFID=538533&CFTOKEN=eec3c7817f178fc-6136AFC9-D609-CB06-42FF4E4FAC7FCB18&jsessionid=5030a3ed25e20497a47539430a692d643d45TR

Child Trust Fund (CTF) is a savings and investment account for children. Children born on or after 1 September 2002 will receive a ?250 voucher to start their account. The account belongs to the child and can’t be touched until they turn 18, so that children have some money behind them to start their adult life.

Working Tax Credits was introduced in 1998 with the child care tax credit contributing to 70% of childcare for most families to help them back into work. (Pugh, G, p12, 2010)

According to a report by Steve Doughty, Labours Tax Credits is being blamed for the break-up of families and the doubling of divorce rates in low income families with children. Ministers acknowledge that children being raised by married couples or complete family units are more likely to do better at school, have a better diet and are less likely to turn to crime and unemployment as those children coming from single parent families and step families. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1158700/Tax-credits-DO-help-break-families-Parents-encouraged-divorce-claim-higher-benefits-says-report.html Tax Credits is to blame for the extra 45,000 extra babies born yearly according to research from the Fiscal Studies.

With all the help from the government and all the incentive schemes why do children still living in poverty, do parents need to be better educated and should children learn money management at school. The Government’s Every Child Matters Outcomes Framework should be revised to reflect the direct impact that housing has on all aspects of children’s life chances